Jocelyn St.Cyr

Have you ever had those days when you just want to eat everything ? Or when you are picking up your latte at Starbucks and they have those sweet, delicious treats staring at you saying “ pick me, pick me ?” You know you should not, but then there is this voice that says, “no, just this once.” Then your brain goes through this battle, like the angel and the devil on each shoulder. “It’s only $2 bucks, that’s 750 calories, that’s an extra 2 hours of treadmill, I won’t eat anything else for the month.”  And then, before you can actually make a decision, next thing you know, you are shoving your face with that double chocolate glazed donut in your car and you say to yourself “why did I just eat that ?”

Well folks, you might just have experienced what happens to someone who has an addiction. It seems like the whole process occurred in less than two minutes. You tried to talk yourself out of it but then the devil talked you in to it. Imagine, having these thoughts daily, hourly, even every second !!!! How many times have you purposely went into a store and came out with something that was not even on your list. Whether it is a pack of gum, lottery tickets, chocolate bar or even a whole new outfit, just for the hell of it.

We often think it is so easy to switch that voice off, but sometimes it gets the best of us. So, next time you hear a friend or a colleague say why did I just eat that, pause, then say “ I get it.”

Why would I pay for counselling when my tax dollars are funding social service agencies? Well that is a good question. Thousands of dollars are allocated to agencies all over Ontario that help folks like me and you. However after being in the public sector for over 10 years, I think I can safely say that there are always gaps in service. Whether it is limited amount of sessions or sliding scales, it just never seems to be enough.

Come on, lets be honest, I don’t think someone can unpack their story in 3 or 5 sessions and hope that they will live a happy and content life. Maybe they can resolve an issue such as deciding between quitting or staying in a job or deciding to move to another country or not, but sometimes it is just not that easy.

That is why you have people like me, that have decided to open up private practices to help those that need something more. Every therapist has their own fee and it is not standardized across the province. While some may charge $80 dollars an hour and others will charge $250 dollars an hour, it all comes down to what you are comfortable with.

So when meeting with a counsellor or a therapist for the first time, do not be afraid to ask questions. You want to be clear as possible what your expectations are and what can they offer. Ask them about their credentials, ask them if they have worked with your situation before and most importantly see if you both jive well together. There is no need to dish out money for sessions on end, to then realize you do not like your therapist. Don’t get me wrong, it may very well take two to three sessions to figure out if this is who you want to share your deepest of darkest secrets with but give them a genuine chance. I guess it is kind of like dating, but not really, because that is a BIG NO NO !!

Well, that’s it folks. We started off with public to private and ended at finding your fit. Hope you enjoyed this one.

So, why do people think going to therapy is not something to be proud of or talked about? Why does publicly talking about getting help frowned upon? Or is it more accepted for those that identify as female to go to therapy then those that identify as male?

Well whatever the reasoning might be, it is important to take note that there are 1000s of therapists all around us. For example, take a look at https://www.psychologytoday.com/and type in your city and see how many people pop up. Ranging from counsellors, mentors, life coaches to psychotherapists, there are many professionals who have dedicated their time to help people. In addition, some companies offer an employee assistance plan (EAP), where they support their employees financially to seek help.

There are also people who seek refuge with someone tied to a religious institution. But, lets get down to the bare bones, do we all not have that one person we might always call to share our thoughts, questions and doubts. Or just someone that we can vent to. If you don’t that’s okay as well. We might just reflect within ourselves or keep a diary. But … we also might not want to talk about anything and we distract ourselves with work, drinking, recreational drug use, diving into short term relationships or spending money that we don’t have. What ever it is, we as human beings have a human nature to interact and share with others. Whether those are healthy interactions, is another matter.

From the moment we are born we get help. Help from the doctor doing the delivery to help from the caregiver providing us clothes, food and a safe shelter. When we enter the school system, we get help from teachers, students, principles and even social workers. When we enter the workforce, we sometimes get help from supervisors, managers, HR and peers. At any single point in our life, there is always someone aiding us. Even our hair dressers, mechanics, handy mans and bus drivers, these are all people that provide something to us in the form of help.

So, lets bring it back to therapy. Why would going to therapy be considered something to hide? Maybe because it makes people look weak, maybe it makes people think their lives are so messed up they need professional help. Well as we can clearly see from my many examples, even though the world continues to grow and evolve, we as humans will also continue to grow and evolve. If its our barista we talk to every morning or our colleagues at work, we all have an inherent need to talk. So lets not label people who go to therapy as losers, because in fact, we are all losers. All losers who need someone to talk to and listen.

Have you heard people say this? Because I have. I have heard it from friends and even family members. But why? Why do people have this negative view of seeing a therapist, or the popular term “a shrink.”

Well let’s clear up some things … The three most popular terms that people often confuse are psychiatrist, psychologist and psychotherapist. Why don’t we start by defining what these professionals are and what they can and can’t do.

A psychiatrist holds a medical degree, sort of like your family doctor and can prescribe psychiatric medications. Psychiatrists also can diagnose people with mental health and addiction disorders.

A psychologist holds a Ph.D in psychology. Psychologists cannot prescribe medications, however they do therapy/and counselling. Many psychologists focus their work on research and conducting studies.

Finally, a psychotherapist. These individuals are people who are trained to help people with their emotional problems. So it might seem that anyone of the two can fall under this umbrella, including Social Workers. Some people use the words counsellor or therapist as well when referring to a psychotherapist.

So, now that we have cleared up that matter… why does therapy have a _“hush hush view?” _ Let me know what you think, I will share my thoughts in my next blog.

When I was creating my website, I had to create a layout. I battled with having a blog section as that meant I would have to be blogging at least minimum on a monthly basis. I see professionals that blog on a daily basis and I wondered can I really commit to this.

As I was pondering away, I began to question what is the point of blogging anyway? Is it just a platform for people to write whatever they please and hope that someone out there feels the same way? Or is it just a way for the writer to vent, except in this case its a public diary. LOL.

Okay, okay enough with the jokes. So really, what can I really use this section for. I am operating as a business at the end of day and what I am selling are my services. So how I can use blogging to to help me?

Well, long story short, I have decided to blog !! YEAHHHH! What made me decide? Well, one of two things. First, people who stumble upon my website, have no clue who I am, other then what is listed on the website and doing any Google searches. So how can I share a little bit about Blackcy without people having to meet me face to face. ABRACADABRA … BLOG !!

Secondly, I love to write !! Whether it is about topics related to my line of work, or what I saw while sitting in my car during rush hour traffic, LOL. I have always been told to write a book or share my off the cuff poetry.

So, here it is, my first official blog. Hope you had some laughs and I wish for you to visit my page again to see what really does Blackcy think?